God isn’t a vending machine

There are things I’ve longed for, things I’ve pleaded for, cried over, planned for, and maybe even thought I deserved by now. I’ve stared down the heavens with a heart half-hopeful, half-bruised, wondering why a good God would withhold what seems so harmless. So holy. So deeply woven into the fabric of my dreams.

But I’m learning this: God is not a vending machine for my desires. He is a Father—and that changes everything.

He doesn’t give me everything I want.

He gives me what will lead me home.

That’s harder to swallow than I wish it were. Because sometimes I don’t want “what’s best.” I want what’s beautiful. What feels good. What everyone else seems to have. What would finally quiet the gnawing in my chest. But God sees through the glitter of my temporary wants and aims straight for my eternity.

He isn’t cruel in His withholding. He is strategic. Tender in His refusals. Because some of the things I’ve begged Him for would have derailed the deeper things He’s doing in me.

He fulfills His promises, not all of my preferences.

He leads me, not always down the roads I mapped out, but along the straightest path to Himself. Sometimes that path winds through valleys. Sometimes it leads to detours I never asked for. But even when it feels like I’m being delayed or denied, I’m actually being drawn. Closer. Deeper. Higher. Holier.

And isn’t that the promise? Not a life filled with fulfilled wish lists, but a life filled with Him.

So here I am again, laying down what I thought I needed, and lifting my eyes to the hills. I don’t always understand His route, but I know where it leads.

And when I finally get to the other side of all this wondering, I believe I’ll look back and whisper through tears I didn’t think I’d survive:

“You were right, Lord. This was the best way.”Even if the path is painful.

Even if the answer is “no.”

Even if I don’t see why…

I trust You still.

Because You are the promise.

And You never fail.