It should’ve been me

I wonder if Barabbas watched the crucifixion.

Maybe he got as far away from that hill where 3 crosses stood.

Or maybe, he joined the crowd and watched some man he had never met, take HIS cross.

The crosses usually had a superscription that contained the crimes of the one hanging on it.

Did Barabbas’ cross already have his crimes listed?

We know that Jesus’ superscription said, KING OF THE JEWS. But was it proceeded by the crimes of Barabbas?

As he hung on a cross that wasn’t his own, and died a death that wasn’t his to die, did the crimes of someone else cry out against him as well?

Some historians say that the Romans reused crosses, or pieces of them, so that they weren’t constantly having to build them.

So Jesus’ cross wasn’t his, in more ways than one.

If Barabbas stayed to watch, I don’t know how he could’ve kept from weeping. As he watched Jesus suffer on HIS cross. Maybe people recognized him, or stopped to ask him why he was weeping. The only words he could’ve really said was: “That was supposed to be me.”

That was his cross.

His crimes.

His beatings.

That should’ve been him.

But this man, died in his place.

None of those crimes listed were his.

And Barabbas would’ve heard him cry out, “Father, forgive them.”

Forgiveness?

For those who chose a murderer over a healer?

Forgiveness? For the one whose crimes were listed on that cross?

Forgiveness even after he was traded for a murderer? Someone who took life was more valuable to the Jews than the One who gave life?

That should’ve been him.

Yet here he was, free.

Forgiven.

Crimes erased.

All because it should’ve been him, but someone else took his wrath. Someone else died alone.

Free.

Clean.

Alive.

And full of hope.

He had to live for this man, who died for him.

His life wasn’t his anymore.

All because, that was his cross, that should’ve been him.

But he went free.