Silent birth

🤍October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month 🤍

From the moment I knew you were with me, you became a part of me. I dreamed of your tiny fingers curling around mine, your eyes meeting mine for the very first time. But instead, your birth was silent—a silence deeper than any I have ever known. In Hebrew, they call it a *lêda sh'ketah*, a silent birth. You didn’t cry, but everything inside of me wept bitterly. My arms, meant to hold you, ached from the emptiness, and my heart was shattered by your quiet departure.

You slipped through my fingers like a whisper, too soon for me to even say goodbye. Carried for, what felt like a moment, but I have a whole lifetime of love to give you. I wondered how it was possible to lose something so precious, something I never had the chance to fully hold. How can silence speak so loudly? How can I feel your missing presence so keenly? I look for you, in every family picture, every holiday, every outing.

My sweet baby, though I never heard your voice, I felt your presence. You were there, in my dreams, in every breath I took, and now, even though you’re gone, you remain. You’ll always be a part of me, woven into the very fabric of my soul. My tears, though they feel endless, are love overflowing for the life we never had together.

But this isn’t the end, my dear. we will meet again. On that day, you will not be silent. I will hear your laughter, feel the warmth of your small hand in mine, and we will never again be parted. Until then, I will carry you with me, in my heart.

Until we are reunited in Heaven, where joy will replace our tears, and we will finally be together, forever, worshipping together at his feet.